I spend my whole life focusing on music, writing it, reading about it,
Published Thursday, 16th Jul 01:01 BST
I spend my whole life focusing on music, writing it, reading about it, watching, singing dancing, pretty much everything that music was attached to I was there focusing on it, i loved everything about it, the whole experience of music was amazing to me, i felt caught up in the whole experience of it, at the weekend i went to see local bands playing, i thought they were cute, they looked stunning on stage and had a lot of soul in their system, this was something i lacked, i didn't feel i could ever get up there and perform onstage in front of all the cute music loving people, i lacked the confidence and presence to do that. I spent some of my time involved in online dating, i am a shy person, very caught up with music and trapped in my shyness, that was not a good thing but i felt trapped and could not break free, most people i met online seemed to feel the same though, i escaped there to talk to them and i felt better about it, i wanted soul in my system the way the guys on stage did, the atmosphere, the smell, the crowd it was all so stunning, i would walk home with the music and crowd still on my mind and in my head, i wanted to much to be a part of all that, and i could, i was sure of that there was nothing stopping me right, i could go there be free and perform, my whole life was music so why not.
I talked to some friends online who thought that i was cute and because of my love and devotion to music that i could of course perform and i already did have soul in my system i just had to bring it out of me somehow and that's how performing would help, i talked to the bad, they knew me i was a regular viewer of their work, they understood me and let me get up there and sing, as i look back now it seems like a dream but i found soul, it was real and i was stunning.
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