I adored this idol. It was tall and golden and glorious. It was an ido

Published Tuesday, 14th Jul 18:10 BST

I adored this idol. It was tall and golden and glorious. It was an idol of the 15th century vishnu; a prophet that came down from the high heavens to spread the word of God to us all. I placed it back on the mantlepiece from where it had come and proceded to pace across the large oak floor of the parlour. Bookcases lined the sides of the room, filled with old tomes long since touched. Dust lined their exterior, like an ubiquitous film of age. Sarah suddenly darted into the room. Come out there's a fire she cried. I ran along the hallways of the manour with her, but I knew something strange was afoot because I couldn't detect even the slightest hint of smoke. We arrived at the exterior, through the west wing's entrance and finally we had a chance to catch our breath and converse. "Where's the fire?" I asked. She giggled, "There is no fire John. It was all a clever ruse by myself to lure you to this secluded garden." I was shocked. I had never had such a forward advance from a woman before. Did she know that it was her I had always wanted to adore. Did all the tells finally become apparent and this was my chance to make my move. So I reached out to caress her bussom and she didn't stop me at all. I had virtually no experience with this since I wasn't one for dating women, but it didn't matter because she led the way. My hands were everywhere. I had alway wanted a woman to caress, to adore. She gave me this, this chance. We scurried off to an even more shadowey and overgrown part of the garden; a place we could be alone from the whole world in. It was there I sought to caress and adore her. She was like the great golden idol of vishnu. Such a golden complexion and such smooth skin. Like vishnu in female form. But it was over too soon. She had to dart off to attend to the lady's washing and I headed back in to prepare for the hunt.

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wife swapping